Where's the Downside?

This full-page ad appeared in the December 28 Columbus Dispatch. I think it’s supposed to indicate bad news, however the list of channels which are being threatened are ones I seldom if ever watch, primarily because of their vapid content.

The following channels in your lineup could be affected by our ongoing negotiations with some programmers:

•FX

•Fuel

•Speed Channel

•Fox Reality Channel

•Fox Soccer Channel

•Fox Sports World en Espanol

Hmmmm...I wonder what it would take to get Time Warner to drop FOX News along with this list of snoozers? ;-)

We've Heard That Song Before

Climate-change deniers reminiscent of Big Tobacco

The Dispatch letters page has been long on wishful thinking during the Copenhagen climate talks. If only climate scientists were greedy villains, we could blame them and go on ignoring how human activity is altering the planet.

Nice Christmas wish, maybe — but nothing more. Letter writers Roderick Clay (last Saturday), John Belt (Sunday) and John McFadden (last Saturday) need to go back a few years and look at the expensive public-relations campaigns led by Big Tobacco. A recent article in The Lancet compares climatechange skeptics to those desperate tobacco lobbyists.

Despite the mounting scientific evidence of harm, tobacco apologists kept playing the same game the climate-change deniers are playing up to now: for as long as possible, cast public doubt to delay implementation of tougher rules that would hurt their bottom line. The sources these letter writers cite are never climate scientists whose work has undergone peer review.

Christopher Horner and Iain Murray belong to the Competitive Enterprise Institute, which has received hundreds of thousands of dollars every year from ExxonMobil. Patrick Michaels' 2007 academic curriculum vitae disclosed that he's been funded by the Edison Electric Institute and the Western Fuels Association.

Another skeptic is a director of three mining companies. Best of all, Clay disputes global warming by citing the infamous Steven Milloy of junkscience.com — a Web site set up to defend . . . tobacco companies! Milloy, long a paid advocate of Philip Morris, now gets his gravy from ExxonMobil, too. A professional shill and not a scientist, Milloy would have to be against doing something about global warming, wouldn't he, now that the money to flack cigarettes is all gone.

Scratch a skeptic, find a paid spokesperson. Too bad climate change is going to harm so many more people than secondhand smoke ever did.

JOHN DEEVER
Mount Vernon

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Special Note: John Deever survived my 9th Grade English class many years ago. His missive appeared on the Letters To The Editor Page of the December 26 Columbus Dispatch.

Thanks, John.

Poor Baby

Rod Parsley says ministry threatened by lack of funds

The Rev. Rod Parsley, megapastor and televangelist, has issued a desperate plea for money, telling his flock that he is facing a "demonically inspired financial attack" that is threatening his ministry.

Click here to read the entire article from the December 16, 2009 Columbus Dispatch.

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Of course, it could be that folks are finally waking up to the fact that Parsley is little more than a self-serving hypocrite who peddles fear and bigotry in the name of The Prince of Peace.

I haven't seen or heard a single word from him on behalf of the folks who have lost their jobs and homes as a result of the economic downturn. Apparently, his only concern is the financial threat it poses to his lucrative ministry.

He sees his reduced cash intake as "demonically inspired," but there has been no word of condemnation from him for those who engineered the financial debacle. According to Parsley, Satan, rather than a group of greedy bankers, is responsible for the economic crisis.

In the words of comedian Dana Carvey's Church Lady character, "How conveeeenient!"

After all, it's much easier to blame an invisible, supernatural entity for one's financial misfortunes than to admit to being joined at the hip to those who caused those misfortunes in the first place. It's also a very effective means of separating one's followers from what little money they have left after the American financial cartel's recent redistribution of wealth initiative.

If you're asking why anyone would write such words about a "man of God," I offer an explanation from yet another comedic character, Flip Wilson's Reverend Leroy:

The Devil made me do it.