Sunday Funnies 170528 Trump, An Assessment

The Sunday Funnies theme of the week is putting the ass in assessment.

The National Cartoonists Society's Reuben Awards weekend is an annual gala event which takes place at a site selected by the President [*of the society]. During the formal, black-tie banquet evening, the Reuben Award (determined by secret ballot) is presented to the Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year.

Given the personality, policies, and performance of the rube in the White House, I believe an ass-uredly ass-iduous ass-emblage of ass-everating cartoons is in order.

1. Ass-ault - In the Beginning there was The Slogan

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2. Ass-ociation: Trump's Favorite Game & His Behavior

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3. Ass-imilation: Trump's Flea-ting Attention Span & His Level of Maturity

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4. Russian Ass-et: On The Sidewalk And On The  Menu At Trump Tower

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5. Ass-ailant 

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6. Self-Ass-uredness of A Self-Proclaimed Genius

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7. Ass-ertion

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8. Ass-istants

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9. Ass-essor

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10. Ass-uredly 

He's also incompetent, and his mouth is incontinent.

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11. Ass-ignment

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Sunday Funnies 170521 Impeach or Impair (The GOP's Fruitless Dilemma)

Republicans control all three branches of the American government. They should be able to impose their regressive, repressive, and repugnant policies on America with ease. 

However, a man-child with bad hair and the attention span of a goldfish heads the executive branch, and his only goal is to make everybody tell him what a good boy he is.

To this end, a constant stream of headline-grabbing "alternative facts," tweets, and executive orders from the Oval Office emanate from his oral orifice crippling the GOP's attempts to legislate America back to the halcyon days of Jim Crow justice.

Meanwhile, a growing body of evidence suggests that The Donald is, at best, utterly unqualified for the office he holds. Much more seriously, it appears that he may have been a participant in efforts by the Russian government to interfere in the 2016 presidential election. 

As a result, the Republicans face a difficult, political and moral choice. Should they follow the evidence and initiate action to impeach their party's standard bearer to restore order and decorum to the government, or should they ignore the evidence in order to legislatively impair America's heritage of social progress?

What's a party hell-bent on resurrecting the Confederacy to do?

Enjoy this week's cartoon salad. It comes garnished with a slogan borrowed from FOX "News" – I'll report; you decide.

1. Action and Reaction (hypothetical, of course)

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2. Alternative Facts (again, hypothetical)

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3. Reality (Would that it were hypothetical.)

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4. On The Record?

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5. Secrets Shared Among Friends 

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6. Trump Doesn't Mean Much of What He Says Literally, if He Did It'd Be 'Frightening' – Bill O'Reilly, December 2015

Well, Billy-boy. You're gone from FOX "News;" but are you frightened now that you've seen Trump in action?

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7. Booster Seat for a Whiney Three-Year-Old

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8. That Was Then…Once Again

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9. That Was Then…Once Again…and Again

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10. Flying Carpet-Baggers

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11. Obstruction Of Justice

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Sunday Funnies 170514 Nothing But Nonsense

It's puzzle time in this week's Sunday Funnies.

Join me on a quest to identify the fountainhead of nonsense. The comics and cartoons will supply clues to the solution, but there are some red herrings mixed in among  them.

Ready?

Let's take a walk around the blockhead.

1. And We're Off

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2. Moving Right Along

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3. Coarse Adjustment (That's not a typo.) 

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4. Armed Pursuit

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5. Examining The Terrain

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6. Rest Stop

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7. Nothing To See Here (Size matters. So does perspective.)

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8. In Pursuit Of Knowledge (Walden, Wharton…Whatever)

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9. Back to the Future

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10. Avoiding Road Hazards

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11. False Finish

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12. Victory Lap (with Roadkill)

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13. The Blockhead (Round and 'round he goes!)

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Sunday Funnies 170507 The 2016 Election Revisited

In this week's Sunday Funnies we'll examine the whys, wherefores, and aftermath of the 2016 presidential election fiasco.

1. Doggone it!

Outside of "the Russian thing" this appears to be as good an explanation as any as to how a yuge pile of doggy doo-doo wound up in the Oval Office.

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2. Bull-ish in America

Many people voted for Trump despite his having offered no details about his policies or how he planned to make good on his campaign promises. In essence, Americans bought a pig in a poke; or, apropos the phenomenon known as Trump, they bought a load of bull…a yuge load of bull.

Now, like the proverbial dog who chased a car and caught it, they don't know what to do with him.

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3. Fool me once...

Apparently you can be fooled again.

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4. The Would-Be Emperor Still Has No Clothes

100+ days in office and Trump still has nothing to cover his fat ass except for self-serving Tweets of alternative facts that tout imaginary successes and a House-passed "health care" bill that's guaranteed to be DOA in the Senate. 

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5. Remedial Training

Hmmm…Perhaps he was so rich that he had someone else do his Fisher-Price Baby's First Blocks for him.

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6. Ornithology Lesson: Birds of a Feather - The Raptors

• Vladimir Putin - political opponents mysteriously die
• Recep Tayyip Erdoğan - critics arrested and jailed
• Kim Jong-un - bad hair and threats of nuclear war
• Rodrigo Duterte - admits to having personally killed suspects
• Donald J. Trump - a novice, but working hard to catch up

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7. He's doing it Dilbert-ly

Pundits and even Republican lawmakers have described the Trump administration's first 100 days as a series of unforced errors due to a lack of political experience on the part of The Donald. 

Well, I'm not buying that story. I believe the Disaster-In-Chief knows exactly what he is doing. The Pointy-haired Boss in the Dilbert comic strip is clearly the model for his management style.

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8. Trust in the Lard

In case you were wondering, that's not a typo.  Believe me.

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9. Three men were in a boat, and the oars began to leak.

My father used to say that in response to ridiculous situations or events. It is a clever metaphor, which I did not understand as a child. But now that the GOP has control of all three branches of the government, it makes perfect sense.

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10. Troubadour Trouble at Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter, Florida

Honesty is the last thing the Duffer-In-Chief wants to hear regarding his behavior. 

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11. Bonus Video 

My wife and I were discussing the Ignoramus-In-Chief last Tuesday when a song from the past started playing in my mind along with images illustrating the lyrics.

Thanks be to Google, I found everything I needed to turn my mental imagery into an actual slideshow. It took me about thirty minutes with the help of my faithful iMac, Photoshop, Photos, iTunes, and YouTube.

Enjoy!

The Mind of Trump in Thirty-one Seconds