Sunday Funnies 150329

The Sunday Funnies phrase of the week is tempus fugit (time flies) to which I've added the following pun-tified extension to the translation: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana:

"Time flies like an arrow," is an English phrase often used to illustrate syntactic ambiguity.[1] In this connection the sentence is often seen as part of the elaboration: "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana".
Contemporary English speakers unambiguously understand the sentence to mean "As a generalisation, time passes in the same way that an arrow generally flies (i.e. quickly)" (as in the common metaphor time goes by quickly). However, the matter is more difficult in the formal interpretation of natural language; formally the sentence is logically ambiguous and alternatively could be interpreted as meaning, for example:[2]

• (as an imperative) Measure the speed of flies like you would measure that of an arrow - i.e. (You should) time flies as you would time an arrow.
• (imperative) Measure the speed of flies like an arrow would - i.e. (You should) time flies in the same manner that an arrow would time them.
• (imperative) Measure the speed of flies that are like arrows - i.e. (You should) time those flies that are like an arrow.
• (declarative) Time moves in a way an arrow would.
• (declarative, i.e. neutrally stating a proposition) Certain flying insects, "time flies," enjoy an arrow.

In addition, the sentence contains semantic ambiguity. For instance, the noun phrase "Time flies" could refer to all time flies or particular time flies, and "an arrow" to all arrows, a particular arrow, or different arrows for different flies; compare "Fruit flies like a banana", "Fruit flies ate a banana", "Fruit flies live on a banana". Likewise, the noun "Time" could refer to the magazine.

Link to Source
* * *

Whew! All that just to get to this week's collection of cartoons, all of which are timely, in one way or another.

1. Held over from last week's Sunday Funnies

This one showed up on March 22 right after I had posted the Sunday Funnies.

Link to Source

2. Early Safety Testing

What goes around comes around.

Link to Source

3. Unplanned Obsolescence - Phone-ethics #1

You talkin' to me?

Link to Source

4. Generational Divide - Phone-ethics #2

Link to Source

5. That was then; this is now, and hopefully extending into the future.

Donut Disturb!

Link to Source

6. That was then; this is now, but hopefully never, ever again.

Most Americans don't realize that, except in Rhode Island, freedom of religion did not in any way imply tolerance of or toward any religious beliefs that differed from those held by the founders of a given colony. Religious tolerance replaced exclusionary religious freedom as the law of the land only after it became apparent to the Founding Fathers that such a shift was necessary in order for the United States to function as as a single nation among the nation states of the world. Even so, many Americans would prefer a country in which their specific religious beliefs were given preferential treatment over those of others.

In Georgia, Indiana, and a few other states, legislators are promoting "Religious Freedom" laws designed to do just that. They allow businesses to refuse sale of goods and services to individuals based on the business owner's religious beliefs about prospective customers who wish to buy from them and pay with United States dollars.

Passage of these laws tear at the fabric of The United States and fly in the face of the motto: e pluribus unum, which may be found on the Great Seal of the United States that appears on every piece of currency issued by the Treasury Department.

Link to Source

7. Heady Historical Humor From The Department of Mythological Serpentine Logic

Link to Source

8. Looking Ahead

Link to Source

9. Still Waiting...

This has not yet become a problem for me and this blog.

Link to Source

10. Rebel Without A Clue

Stuck in the past and wedded to ignorance and bigotry.

Link to Source

11. Time Is Money Meets Location, Location, Location

Link to Source

12. Sculptured, Monolithic Humor

Today's first cartoon took aim at last Sunday's rodent-themed edition. This one points arrow-like in the opposite direction. A bit of geographical, historical, and hysterical knowledge will help you "get" it.

Link to Source

Final Pun-tification: The colorful objects on the ground are sometimes called caclkeberries. That qualifies them as fruit. And although they are not bananas, they definitely have appeal.

I'm no scientist, but I know a snake when I see one.

I think I'm going to puke.

Ted Cruz is now using Galileo's struggle to advance the case for scientific evidence to justify and legitimize his denial of ... wait for it ... scientific evidence.

Ted Cruz Compares Himself to Galileo, Calls Those Who Believe In Climate Change ‘Flat-Earthers’

Is this political gambit driven by ignorance, unmitigated gall, or confidence that the right-wing base of the GOP will not see through his duplicity?

I'm going to toss out ignorance straightaway. Ted Cruz is not ignorant. He is a snake, and he knows exactly what he is doing. Like his right-wing cohorts, he has perfected the art of lying through his fangs, and he will say whatever he needs to in order to gain political advantage. Calling good evil and evil good, his only motive appears to be amassing personal power and wealth at the expense of the truth. 

I'm no scientist, but In appearance, word, and deed Ted Cruz, at best, exhibits all the traits of a narcissist. At worst, those traits suggest that he has no conscience. Such people are classified as sociopaths and are locked away in padded cells when their actions do harm to others. To conservative Americans, however, such people are seen as heroes and are elected to Congress.

Because I'm not a scientist, I'll leave the final diagnosis as to Cruz's possible psycho- or sociopathic personality disorder to someone more qualified and instead share the following article from today's Washington Post:

An open letter from Galileo to Ted Cruz

By Alexandra Petri March 26 at 1:10 PM  

A telescope from the collection of Marvin Bolt, the science and technology curator at New York’s Corning Museum of Glass. (Steve Pitkin/Adler Planetarium/Associated Press)

Late last night, Galileo’s skeletal hand (not the one that’s in a museum, the other one) reached out of a grave and gave me this letter. I reproduce it in full.

Dear Ted, Dear Everyone,
Please stop dragging me into this. Please, please stop.

I spent most of the afternoon spinning vigorously in my grave. If someone had hooked me up to a generator, I could have powered a small village.

I spun because Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) told the Texas Tribune the following, as transcribed by Kate Sheppard of the Huffington Post: 

On the global warming alarmists, anyone who actually points to the evidence that disproves their apocalyptical claims, they don’t engage in reasoned debate. What do they do? They scream, ‘You’re a denier.’ They brand you a heretic. Today, the global warming alarmists are the equivalent of the flat-Earthers. It used to be [that] it is accepted scientific wisdom the Earth is flat, and this heretic named Galileo was branded a denier.

Ted, your grasp of history is as secure as your grasp of science.

This is so wrong. This is more wrong than the geocentric model of the universe, the thing I actually spent my life debunking. (We knew Earth wasn’t flat, dang it. Columbus had already sailed!) What I battled wasn’t a ruling scientific theory, either. It was religious dogma. I am not saying that those are opposites, but mistaking one for the other is like mistaking you for someone with an understanding of climate science.

In fact, when you say “accepted scientific wisdom the Earth is flat” you mean “non-accepted non-scientific not-wisdom that had nothing to do with the flatness of the Earth.” Other than that, though, accurate.

If this shook hands with the literal truth of what happened, they would both vanish.

It is an honor just to be remembered. So few of us historical figures are. But how do I put this? What is an analogy that will penetrate?

It’s like saying “by opposing vaccinations, I am just following in the footsteps of a heretic called Edward Jenner, who as we all know invented the light bulb.” This is like invoking Elizabeth Cady Stanton to support Men’s Rights Activism, but crediting her with Prohibition. It’s like saying, “I am a Democrat, just like Ronald Reagan, who of course won the Civil War.” You might as well thank Tesla every time you perform dark magic.

Look, I’m the last person who wants to get dogmatic about science. If the facts stop supporting the theory, scientists will change the theory. That’s how it works. Heck, I even recanted when I was right. 

And I don’t care what you believe about the climate. I mean, I’m dead already. I don’t care what you do with the place. Just don’t use my name to lend yourself credibility. Once being forced into a lot of inaccurate statements by people whose grasp on science was lacking is enough.

Eppur si muove,

Galileo Galilei

Confidential to JB, HRC, RP, MR, RS, SW, CC or even BC or NG or SP or MO’M: Please, please get into this soon so that I do not have to write to Ted Cruz every day.

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.

Budget Priorities Reminder: You Get What You Voted For

With the Republican-controlled Congress working (?) to write a budget that slashes services to people who need them and gives tax breaks to people who don't need them, I offer today's post. It is a Facebook conversation I had with my friend, Craig yesterday.

It started when I commented and shared the chart below, which another friend had posted to his page:

* * *

Open your eyes! Open your minds! Recognize that America is - and YOU are - being screwed by "fiscal conservatives" who believe that every penny spent to help people costs them profits they could reap from peddling war.

I'm not against security or making money, but the greed that drives Republican economic policy is unconscionable and indefensible.

• • 

    Craig: Your pie chart is NOT a representation of the entire budget for the year. It presents a view to support a political case. Our challenge is BOTH parties spend like "drunken sailors" ....http://www.usfederalbudget.us/budget_pie_gs.php

    3 hrs · Edited · Like · Remove Previe
  • 
    

    
    

    

    
    

    US Federal Budget FY16 Estimated Spending Breakdown - Pie Chart

    Tables 3.2, 5.1, 7.1 Data Sources for 2020: Federal: Fed.

    USFEDERALBUDGET.US
  • 

    George A. Denino You are correct, Craig. The line at the top of the chart should say "look closely at this chart of DISCRETIONARY federal spending". In fact, it should have been this chart:
    https://static.nationalpriorities.org/.../presidents...
    

    
  • 
    
  • 

    George A. Denino Even ceding your point about the chart, however, my comment about Republican economic policy is accurate in light of where they propose to make cuts to the discretionary spending portion of the budget. Thus, the chart I posted essentially represents the yellow portion of the chart seen below. Note also that your chart says nothing about mandatory and discretionary spending, nor does it address my claim about the impact of the GOP's proposed cuts on the lives of people. Except to continue to push the failed policies of supply-side economics, the GOP has nothing to offer Americans.
    http://images.dailykos.com/.../large/FederalSpending.jpg...
    

    

  
  

  • 

    George A. Denino In summary of all of the above:..
    http://assets.amuniversal.com/e1b90540b1580132d0d0005056a...
    

    
  • 

    Craig: The assumption is that military spending is discretionary. According to the preamble to the US Constitution ... "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." A mandatory part of the governments duties are to provide for the common defense. I agree there are things we should do to reduce the overall size of the budget not just snipe at the outliers.

    2 hrs · Edited · Like
  • 

    George A. Denino That comment, my friend, is semantic chicanery. You, who likes to use raw data to support an argument, should recognize that "provide for the common defence" does not mandate that "We the People" spend every last penny of our wealth on the military at the expense of policies to "promote the general Welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity."
• 
  

Sunday Funnies 150322

It's been a slow week in the funny-business department.

The comics and cartoons that appear in my inbox usually suggest a theme for my weekly, Sunday Funnies compilation. No such theme showed up this week; so instead of giving you a word or theme of the week to consider, let's play a game.

The cartoons below all have something in common. Your task is to figure out what it is.

1. This Week At The White House...

Link to Source

2. In Political Discussions...

Link to Source

3. Out On The Street...

Link to Source

4. and...Right On Your Doorstep!

Link to Source

Did you figure out the answer? You'll find it in the video below of an insanely-funny quartet named...

5. Lunch Break

Link to Source

Baroque Obama vs. Simplistic Conservatism

I love this image. I had not seen it until a friend shared it on his Facebook page today. When I saw it, I had to share it on my Facebook page, but I did so only after adding the following disclaimer:

I share this image at the risk of having my conservative friends completely miss an excellent pun and instead see it as an anti-Obama statement.
Because complexity, nuance, and detail are the hallmarks of baroque architecture and music, the image is quite pro-Obama.
However, I suspect many conservatives will miss the point because they tend to avoid complexity, nuance, and detail and instead rely on simplistic solutions to complex issues.
I hope they can Handel the truth.

Link to Source

Sunday Funnies 150315 Ignorance & Apathy

News Reporter: According to a recent study, ignorance and apathy are the major causes of America's problems.
Viewer 1: What's "ignorance and apathy"?
Viewer 2: I don't know, and I don't care.

* * *

Ignorance: Now that the Supreme Court has told us that corporations are people, it's important for Americans to recognize and embrace the new reality:

• Consumerism is patriotism.
• There is nothing else we need to know.
• The sooner our children learn this, the sooner the conservative dream for America will become reality, and everything else will fall into place.

Link to Source

As we work with Congress in the coming year to chart a new course in Iraq and strengthen our military to meet the challenges of the 21st century, we must also work together to achieve important goals for the American people here at home. This work begins with keeping our economy growing. … And I encourage you all to go shopping more.

–George W. Bush, Dec. 2006  

Apathy:  Many Americans aren't even remotely interested in hearing about the problems facing our nation, but they are willing to lift a finger to address them...their middle finger.

Link to Source

With ignorance and apathy leading the way, America is preparing to enter The Golden Age of Conservatism where:

1. The police will be able to do their jobs without outside interference.

Link to Source

2. Elections will run much more smoothly.

Link to Source

3. Troublemakers will not be able to find a forum to spread dissent.

Link to Source

4. People will not have to think about complex issues, or even simple ones.

Big Brother will tell you everything you need to know to live a full, risk-free life. But it will be up to you to remember that the coffee is hot, so don't put it between your legs as you drive away from the McDonalds pick-up window.

Link to Source

5. Second Amendment rights will continue to justify paranoia.

Link to Source

6. For-profit Truth Institutions will replace our public schools, tax-supported, of course.

Link to Source

7. Common Core will be replaced by No Common Sense. Texas will lead the way.

Link to Source

8. Because consumerism is now patriotism, some things will stay the same.

Disclaimer: I am a Mac geek. 

Although the cartoon refers to the approaching April 24 release date for the Apple Watch, a simple modification to the text, and it can be used whenever Microsoft releases its next version of Windows or another lame imitation of an Apple product.

Link to Source

9. Prejudice, injustice, and inequality will once again be swept safely under the carpet.

Link to Source

10. Politicians will get away with denying they said things that are on the record.

Oh, wait! They already do.

Link to Source

11. Right-wing apologists will continue to sidetrack efforts to effect change.

Of course police lives matter. All lives matter. This cartoon expresses the obvious. It also suggests, however subtly, that perhaps more than the Ferguson shooter thought otherwise. To anyone who would project the motives of one misguided individual onto an entire group, I call bullshit.

The person who used a peaceful protest as a cover for shooting police officers is a coward. It is important to understand that. It is equally important to recognize that one cowardly act does not negate the legitimacy of protests against systematic racial injustice or the need for their continuance until justice becomes color-blind everywhere in America.

Link to Source

12. With ignorance and apathy leading the way, America life will revert to how it was in the good old days.

Link to Source