Sunday Funnies 140706

The Sunday Funnies word of the week is news:

news |n(y)oōz|nounnewly received or noteworthy information, esp. about recent or important events :I've got some good news for you.• ( the news) a broadcast or published report of news : he was back in the news again.• ( news to) informal information not previously known to someone : this was hardly news to her.• a person or thing considered interesting enough to be reported in the news :Chanel became the hottest news in fashion.PHRASESmake news become a story in the news : stolen babies make news.no news is good news proverb without information to the contrary you can assume that all is well.ORIGIN late Middle English : plural of new , translating Old French noveles or medieval Latin nova ‘new things.’Today we'll examine all the news that's fit to print (digitally, of course) with an eye toward finding a silver lining in the malaise caused by being exposed to it.

1. No Noose is Good Noose

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2. Cable News

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3. Good News

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4. What Goes Around Comes Around

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5. This just in from a friend in Israel via Facebook...

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6. We can't hear you, so you might as well not complain about Congressional inaction.

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7. Because Americans want to be entertained...

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8. It was news to him.

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9. When in the course of human events...

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10. Not so fast, grandpa! Things haven't changed all that much.

As I recall from my study of history, taxes had quite a bit to do with it. 

The colonists didn't think that they should have to pay a tax on tea to help defray the cost of the French and Indian War, which essentially prevented a French takeover. Their demand for a tax cut came in the form of a "tea party" where they dressed up as Indians and dumped tea into Boston Harbor. 

Despite what folks like to believe, it was good-old-fashioned greed, not patriotism, which motivated them to do this. 

If Americans knew their history as well as the myths they've been told about the Boston Tea Party, they'd realize that today's Tea Party "patriots" are peddling the same tax-dodging agenda and for the same reason. They simply refuse to pay taxes to help anyone but themselves.

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11. Entrenched Self-Interest is as American as The Boston Tea Party

(Re-read the commentary in the previous item.)

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12. Historical accuracy aside, I hope you had a fabulous Independence Day;

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13.  But remember, Big SCOTUS is watching you!

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Sunday Funnies 140629

The Sunday Funnies word of the week is bird:

bird |bərd|noun1 a warm-blooded egg-laying vertebrate distinguished by the possession of feathers,wings, and a beak and (typically) by being able to fly. • Class Aves; birds probably evolved in the Jurassic period from small dinosaurs that may already have been warm-blooded.• an animal of this type that is hunted for sport or used for food : carve the bird at the dinner table.• a clay pigeon.• informal an aircraft, spacecraft, satellite, or guided missile : the crews worked frantically to ready their birds for flight.2 [usu. with adj. ] informal a person of a specified kind or character : I'm a pretty tough old bird.• Brit., informal a young woman; a girlfriend.

1. Who's the pigeon?

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2. A Sitting Duck

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3. Birds of Different Feathers

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4. He's Toast!

There is no avian connection here. This comic is a fugitive from last week's Food For Thought edition. Of course I could justify it's inclusion here by calling it a flight of fancy.

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5. A Bird-Brained Enterprise - It will never fly.

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6. Watch The Birdie...Tweet!

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7. For anyone about to board a big bird...

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8. Partisans will undoubtedly flip the bird at this observation.

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9. Patriotic Paunch Line

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10. A Religious Dinosaur Attempts to Evolve

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11. Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's an anachronism!

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12. Yellow Bird (with apologies to Harry Belafonte)

Yellow bird,
Up high in Washington D.C.
Yellow bird
You sing for the Tea Party

Sing their ugly song 
Act like you belong
They are mean and cruel
You are such a tool

You should fly away
In the sky away
And be happy like me

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That Was Then; This Is Now - Cheney vs. Cheney

Former Vice President and would-be dictator, Dick Cheney continues to insist that America adopt his discredited, megalomaniacal agenda. In response, and with no political standing other than that of a loyal citizen of THe United States of America who is capable of thought, I offer a critical analysis of Kommandant Cheney's continuing diatribe.

Consider the following hierarchy of motivating forces for right-wing political entities:

1. A rank and file GOP elephant never forgets, but his memories are often flawed.
2. Conservatives work to maintain the status quo at the expense of meaningful change.
3. Neoconservatives work to bring back the "good old days" that never were.
4. The Tea Party works in the service of a self-serving wealthy minority.
5. Dick Cheney works solely for the benefit of Dick Cheney.

Then: Chicken-Hawk Cheney beat the drum for war in Iraq.

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Now: Duplicitous Dick blames President Obama for the devastating war he started.

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Sunday Funnies 140622

The Sunday Funnies theme of the week is Food For Thought:

1. Now ain't that just swill?

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2. A Miracle (almost as difficult as turning water into wine)

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3. A Very Perceptive Waiter

But he'd better can the sarcasm. They'll all tip the same amount.

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4. Jimmy Becomes A Foodie?

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5. Find the culinary reference.

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6. Paper, Plastic, or Body?

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7. Going Nuts at the SPFic Ocean

Summer arrived yesterday at 10:51. Break out the sunscreen! 

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8. I believe they may be passing a pizza shop.

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9. Welcome, Scott Walker. Welcome, Chris Christie. Welcome...

(obligatory, politically-themed offering)

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10. I hear it's a pretty cheesy story.

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11. Did I mention that summer arrived yesterday at 10:51?

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12. Leftovers

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The Wrong Question

This morning, I found the June 16, 2014 issue of Time in the waiting room of my ophthalmologist's office. I looked at the cover, and immediately thought that the folks at Time needed to see an ophthalmologist more than I did.

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WAS HE WORTH IT? The cost of bringing Sgt. Bergdahl home is simply the wrong question for any American except one with severely impaired vision to be asking at the end of America's longest war. 

Perhaps asking that specific question about the value of a single American soldier's life speaks to the myopia and extreme tunnel vision which currently affilicts a sizable segment of our country.

Better that we should ask:

Was it worth it to hand the reins of government to a group of neoconservative warmongers whose imperialist agenda was spelled out back in 1997 in a document released by the think tank Project for the New American Century?

Were the multi-millions of dollars amassed by the signatories of that document via the wars they started worth the thousands of American lives lost?

How stupid would Americans have to be to return full control of Congress to that same group of self-serving ideologues in November?

In addition to the cover of Time, I came across a group of editorial cartoons, whose creators appear to have much better vision than the folks at Time. They have weighed in on the history and current status of the Middle-East mess handed to Barack Obama in 2009, and they also examine the the chronically impaired vision of those who created it.

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Finally, today's the Wizard of Id comic strip serendipitously illustrates just how out of touch with reality are those who count themselves among the privileged in America and hope to  reinstitute their lucrative, warmongering agenda.

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