Sunday Funnies 170226 I've Got News for You

The Sunday Funnies theme of the week is I've Got News for You.

During the week I come across many excellent comics and cartoons. Some are so noteworthy that I find it difficult to decide whether it is better to post them on Facebook or to wait and include them in the next Sunday Funnies collection on this blog.

This week I decided to try a combination. I posted items I thought were worthy of immediate distribution to my Facebook page. They appear again here along with other items that fit the theme but which didn't make the Facebook cut. 

1. Animal Farm - An Identify the Political Animals Game

The Trump administration has been compared that of Big Brother in George Orwell's 1984. But Orwell also wrote Animal Farm, a novel which has much to say about the politicians who are sucking up to him and giving him cover. 

Match the politicians listed here with the animal in cartoon that best represents him and his reaction to what Trump has been doing:

1. Rooster      b. Mitch McConnell

2. Cow          c. Paul Ryan 

3. Chicken      d. John McCain 

4. Sheep        d. Lindsay Graham

Link to Source

2. Real Fake News

There's nothing political here. Just a bit of comic relief from the ongoing Trump debacle.

Link to Source

3. Prediction

If things keep going as they have since January 20, Danae, or someone like her, will become the first woman president.

Link to Source

4. Next in line, those who use the phrase "lame-stream media."

In case you haven't noticed, our country is currently at a crossroads. The independent press, which serves as a check on political corruption, is under attack. The Trump administration is doing everything it can to discredit any and all news that is critical of its policies and actions. One of its favorite weapons in this effort is the term "lame-stream media," with which right-wing talk radio has brainwashed Americans for over thirty years. 

Link to Source

5. See previous item...

This is quite likely ti be the news of the future if Trump gets his way.

Link to Source

6. Newspeak (link to source of text below)

The term "newspeak" was coined by George Orwell in his 1949 anti-utopian novel 1984. In Orwell's fictional totalitarian state, Newspeak was a language favored by the minions of Big Brother and, in Orwell's words, "designed to diminish the range of thought." Newspeak was characterized by the elimination or alteration of certain words, the substitution of one word for another, the interchangeability of parts of speech, and the creation of words for political purposes. The word has caught on in general use to refer to confusing or deceptive bureaucratic jargon.

Today we have Trumpspeak, which is not a whole hell of a lot different from Orwell's newspeak.

Link to Source

7. Take a sneak peek inside the strategy room of Trump's "fine-tuned machine."

Everything is going according to plan. Unfortunately, the plan is to establish Trump as dictator. If you believe otherwise, your head is stuck in a warm, dark place that smells like feces.

Link to Source

8. Post-Election Choices

Elections are choices, and choices have consequences. Sometimes those consequences require us to make more choices, choices as to what or whom we are to believe.

Choose wisely, America.

Link to Source

9. Heads or Tails? Either way you lose.

If you don't like what you hear coming out of the "The Oval Orifice," take a trip down the hall and get a second opinion from Press Secretary, Sean Sphincter. Note: Don't expect to find one any better than the other unless you are skilled at making value choices between different types of manure. 

Link to Source

10. The Gospel According to Trump (A Visual Metaphor)

And lo, America was made great again! Better than ever. The greatest. Believe me.

Link to Source

11. The Case of the Unprecedented Presidency

Never before in the history of the United States has a president told outright lies, stated that they were lies, repeated those lies, and enjoyed having them turned into facts by those with the power to keep the country from being flushed down the toilet.

Link to Source

12. Final Wrap-up

The enemy of the people loves spray paint…bigly!

Link to Source

You lie!

In September, 2009 during President Obama's speech on healthcare to a joint session of Congress, Rep. Joe Wilson shouted, "You lie!" Later that evening he apologized, saying, "...While I disagree with the President’s statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the President for this lack of civility.”

But what does one do when the current occupant of the White House spreads lies like manure in a blatant attempt to fertilize and nurture an "alternative fact-based" view of reality?

The Toronto Star has an answer. It has published 

The complete list of all 80 false things Donald Trump has said in his first 4 weeks as president

It's an excellent article that is thoroughly researched and documented. However, Trump supporters don't do nuance or research. Instead, they take unrelated factoids, mix them with unsubstantiated comments, and conflate them into alternative facts, which they then spout as gospel just as he does.

I urge you to click the link above and read the Star's article. It may help restore your sense of political balance.

Sunday Funnies 170119 Tell Me A Story

The Sunday Funnies theme of the week is Tell Me A Story.

1. Steve and His Mongrel Lapdog (a story of leadership and obedience)

Here's Steve walking Donald, his mongrel lapdog. They come upon a sign. Steve reads it. However he sees no need to pick up Donald's alternative facts. Why should he? After all, Steve has been feeding Donald laxatives to ensure that his alternative facts are copious and spread far and wide.

As Donald executes another deposit, Steve grins gleefully and tugs on the leash.  

They walk on, 

To be continued...

Link to Source

2. Crime and Punishment

The story told in this official, Putin-approved rewrite of the classic Fyodor Dostoyevsky novel is guaranteed to keep millions of readers in suspense, wondering when the ICE agents will knock on their door.

It's a great read. The best. I like to surprise people
–Donald J. Trump 

Link to Source

3. Plagiarism for Fun, Profit, and Power-Grabbing

Why waste time trying to create an original story line when one with a proven track record of success in taking over an entire country and eliminating undesirables already exists.

Link to Source

4. Once Upon a Time in the Twitterverse (a budding love turnes to hashtag)

Sheila met a guy online. She liked what she saw and read. Sheila thought it was love at first tweet; but when they met, Mr. Right turned out to be a bird of a different feather…an vulture with an enlarged right wing.

Link to Source

5. Veterans of Domestic War (a mystery crafted behind closed doors)

In politics every story has a backstory. And every backstory has a background check. And every background check has a threshold. And every threshold has a motive. And every motive has a… 

Wait a minute! Let's cut to the chase. 

The unfolding story of where the current administration is taking America is a mystery, and every reader of mystery stories expects to encounter red herrings designed to hide the truth. 

This author of this story, however, takes that literary device to an entirely new level. All of the fish in the new White House aquarium are red herrings. 

This poses a real threat to the country as it becomes ever more obvious that the author's purpose in doing this is to make sure the reader has no way to know the truth and to use it when deciding how to react to unfolding events.

Link to Source

6. The latest story in the Choose Your Own Adventure fiction series

Look for this story in the collaborative fiction section. Co-written by a cadre of political hypocrites, it attempts to revive and an old deception based on false equivalencies, innuendos, and outright lies. 

As is evident in the cover illustration (below), the authors don't have a leg to stand on.

Link to Source

7. We're Not in America Anymore

The outcome of this story hinges on whether or not the elephants have the courage, brains, and heart to come out and fight the unhinged tornado.

Link to Source

8. Story Problem Problems? No Problem.

Not to worry, young man. With Betsy DeVos running the Department of Education you'll never have to worry about learning math. The Bible will provide all the answers you'll ever need to succeed in Trump's America. 

Well, it won't really provide all the answers, but Betsy's new "christian-centric" curriculum will supply the brainwashing you'll need to achieve unquestioned obedience to those who claim to speak for God no matter how batshit crazy their beliefs about reality may be.

Link to Source

9. News Story: Trump makes Christie order meatloaf

Click the title above, read the story, and you'll understand why this Peanuts comic strip is in today's Sunday Funniess.

Link to Source

10. The End (with sincere apologies to Porky Pig)

With a cartoon character in the White House, what else would one expect? 

Link to Source

Sunday Funnies 170212 Alternate Facts

The Sunday Funnies theme of the week is Alternate Facts.

In today's America politicians routinely deny reality and make demonstrably false claims designed to discredit facts that don't align with their stated (albeit not necessarily honestly held) positions, beliefs, or values. Form trumps substance in a land where wealth and winning at any cost are are the only rulers by which the citizens measure competence.

1. Honestly, Abe?

With folks like Betsy DeVos and Jerry Falwell Jr. making education policy for America,  Sally's report is sure to be a winner.

Link to Source

2. The Ghost of Jason Chaffetz 

There was spirited discourse at his recent town hall meeting.

Link to Source

3. Executive Disorder

He thought checks and balances referred to his bank statement.

Link to Source

4. What could possibly go wrong?

Maybe Twitter would be a better source for intelligence information…or not.

Link to Source

5. Our Fabulous* Leader

When the only tool you have is a sledge hammer, every government agency looks like a condemned building.

* fabulous |ˈfabyələs| adjective  - having no basis in reality

Link to Source

6. Tea Party for Two

Three well-known monkeys sit in as the pillars of democracy.

Link to Source

7. T-Party for Evangelicals

There is a sucker born every minute.
–P. T. Barnum

Link to Source

8. New, Fantastic, Jobs Program

It'll be great. The best. Millions of jobs. Good-paying jobs. Believe me.

Link to Source

9. A Deal Made Behind Closed Doors

Did I mention that the doors were the gates of Hell?

Link to Source

10. Everything is going according to plan.

So you can plan on hearing and seeing lots of bullshit followed by more of the same.

Link to Source

An Open Letter to Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell

Dear Senator McConnell,

Although I am philosophically opposed to most of the positions you and the Republican party espouse, I do not believe that you are dishonest, nor do I believe that you would sell out our country for the sake of gaining power.

I cannot say the same for the man who now occupies the White House. 

Given his behavior during the recent presidential campaign and the nature of the executive orders he has issued since his inauguration, it seems clear that Mr. Trump's goal is to gain absolute control of the country - control far beyond that established by the Constitution and tempered by historical precedent.

Right now the Senate you lead has the power to keep this from happening, but Mr. Trump is a very clever man.

Just today Mr. Trump encouraged you to use the so-called nuclear option and eliminate the 60 vote threshold currently needed to confirm justices to the Supreme Court.

I said he encouraged you, but that is not an accurate description of what Mr. Trump said.

Take a close look at his words, and I'm sure you will see that he was, in fact, giving you permission to use the nuclear option - permission which, at the moment, is not his to give.

But, as I said, Mr. Trump is clever.

His words, crafted to sound like an acknowledgement of your position of authority, were in fact a rhetorical ploy, a trap designed to have you do his bidding.

If you use the nuclear option, you will cede the power the Senate now holds to act as a check on limitless presidential power to the man who craves that power.

To put it bluntly, if you fall for his trap, you will belong to Mr. Trump. He will own you as he now owns House Majority Leader Ryan and others of your party. I'm sure you have followed how he treats those whom he owns. Governor Chris Christie comes to mind.

I call upon you as one loyal American to another to maintain faith in the ability of the federal government to function in the form established by the Founding Fathers.

Sincerely,

George A. Denino