Sunday Funnies 170119 Tell Me A Story
The Sunday Funnies theme of the week is Tell Me A Story.
1. Steve and His Mongrel Lapdog (a story of leadership and obedience)
Here's Steve walking Donald, his mongrel lapdog. They come upon a sign. Steve reads it. However he sees no need to pick up Donald's alternative facts. Why should he? After all, Steve has been feeding Donald laxatives to ensure that his alternative facts are copious and spread far and wide.
As Donald executes another deposit, Steve grins gleefully and tugs on the leash.
They walk on,
To be continued...
2. Crime and Punishment
The story told in this official, Putin-approved rewrite of the classic Fyodor Dostoyevsky novel is guaranteed to keep millions of readers in suspense, wondering when the ICE agents will knock on their door.
It's a great read. The best. I like to surprise people
–Donald J. Trump
3. Plagiarism for Fun, Profit, and Power-Grabbing
Why waste time trying to create an original story line when one with a proven track record of success in taking over an entire country and eliminating undesirables already exists.
4. Once Upon a Time in the Twitterverse (a budding love turnes to hashtag)
Sheila met a guy online. She liked what she saw and read. Sheila thought it was love at first tweet; but when they met, Mr. Right turned out to be a bird of a different feather…an vulture with an enlarged right wing.
5. Veterans of Domestic War (a mystery crafted behind closed doors)
In politics every story has a backstory. And every backstory has a background check. And every background check has a threshold. And every threshold has a motive. And every motive has a…
Wait a minute! Let's cut to the chase.
The unfolding story of where the current administration is taking America is a mystery, and every reader of mystery stories expects to encounter red herrings designed to hide the truth.
This author of this story, however, takes that literary device to an entirely new level. All of the fish in the new White House aquarium are red herrings.
This poses a real threat to the country as it becomes ever more obvious that the author's purpose in doing this is to make sure the reader has no way to know the truth and to use it when deciding how to react to unfolding events.
6. The latest story in the Choose Your Own Adventure fiction series
Look for this story in the collaborative fiction section. Co-written by a cadre of political hypocrites, it attempts to revive and an old deception based on false equivalencies, innuendos, and outright lies.
As is evident in the cover illustration (below), the authors don't have a leg to stand on.
7. We're Not in America Anymore
The outcome of this story hinges on whether or not the elephants have the courage, brains, and heart to come out and fight the unhinged tornado.
8. Story Problem Problems? No Problem.
Not to worry, young man. With Betsy DeVos running the Department of Education you'll never have to worry about learning math. The Bible will provide all the answers you'll ever need to succeed in Trump's America.
Well, it won't really provide all the answers, but Betsy's new "christian-centric" curriculum will supply the brainwashing you'll need to achieve unquestioned obedience to those who claim to speak for God no matter how batshit crazy their beliefs about reality may be.
Click the title above, read the story, and you'll understand why this Peanuts comic strip is in today's Sunday Funniess.
10. The End (with sincere apologies to Porky Pig)
With a cartoon character in the White House, what else would one expect?
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